Lena anticipated a party to be held in her honor when she was finally able to get the promotion that she had been striving toward for years. Instead, it was a single, unobtrusive demand that triggered a gradual unraveling of pride, authority, and the whole idea of cooperation. At this point, she was forced to face the most difficult issue of all: when love is put to the test, is devotion still worth the price we pay?
My inbox was filled with an email that confirmed my promotion, but I refrained from crying immediately after it arrived. I did nothing except gaze at the computer, allowing the words to gradually sink into my chest until they were a part of my reality.
Senior Marketing Strategist is the title. Commencement of immediate effect”
It was more than simply a piece of paper. It embodied everything that I had forced myself to go through, including years of ideas that I had neglected, countless hours of quiet overtime, and worry spirals that occurred on Sunday nights. Suddenly, everything became significant.
A copy of the email was sent to my mother. Following that, I made my way to the kitchen, where I opened a bottle of cold prosecco that I had been putting away for no particular reason, and then I burst the cork.
In the still kitchen, I addressed Lena and said, “This is it, Lena.” It’s about time that you started living your own life. No longer will you be relegated to the background. “Now is the time to shine.”
When I sent my fiance a screenshot of the email, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. The response he gave came almost immediately:
Guess what? From from point on, you will be responsible for paying the bill! 30 percent club, baby!
When Ethan finally arrived home later that evening, he gave me a kiss on the forehead and told me that he was proud of me. His grin was so sweet that it seemed to melt every nerve, despite the fact that his hands were very cold from the winter weather.
“What’s for dinner?” he said in a nonchalant manner.
I chose not to respond. Immediately, I presented him with a glass of prosecco. A cheeky smile appeared on his face as he softly clinked it against mine.
With a sly grin on his face, he mocked, “To my sugar mama,” as if he had just uttered something brilliant.
It was a joke, but it was a clumsy one, but it was harmless, so I chuckled at it. This is one of those statements that guys use as a filler when they are unable to say, “I am proud of you.” However, this makes me feel like a little person, and I am not sure why for some reason.
In spite of the pain, I ignored it. Refrained from overthinking the situation.
Nevertheless, he continued to repeat it.
Two days later, when we were brushing our teeth side by side, I brought to his attention the fact that the membership to the streaming service was due on Friday. In the mirror, he looked directly into my eyes, and there was toothpaste froth at the corner of his lips.
It seems like you’ve got it… The tone of his voice was sneaky as he continued, “Fancy title… big raise and all.”
The toothbrush was still stuck in my mouth as I cautiously shifted my attention to him. His body did not flinch. As if the remark were of no consequence, he gave a wink and then exited the room.
It wasn’t simply so much what he said as it was the manner in which he said it. In a light and dismissive manner, it is similar to throwing a feather that, when it falls, somehow hurts.
It wasn’t anything I wanted to make a big deal about. Not at this time.
I was compelled to do so on Tuesday evening.
I was asked to dinner by Ethan, along with his old college pals Craig, Hunter, and Jason. These were the kinds of guys that wore boat shoes and fragrance that was heavy and overbearing. It was hardly the first time I had encountered them.
Despite the fact that they drank excessively and laughed excessively, they never fully recalled my name.
As a result, I went. To answer Ethan’s question.
As he spoke, he added, “I want you there, babe.” It is not the same when I see them without you, but I do see them without you.
After that, I got dressed, applied my makeup, and then I left. Because that is what you do for someone you care about: you turn up, even if you are aware that you will end up spending the better part of the night silently wishing that you were at home.
The steakhouse was in the category of luxury establishments that had dark lighting and a wine list that was as long as a book. It’s the type of service when the waiter gives you a correction on your pronunciation while smiling so sharply that it cuts.
I placed an order for grilled chicken, a salad, a baked potato with butter, and one glass of the least expensive wine that was available on the menu. I wasn’t trying to convey anything; I just didn’t want to spend a lot of money on a meal that brought up memories of a fraternity reunion.
On the other hand, Ethan’s buddies placed orders as if there were no tomorrow: oysters, sliders made with wagyu, handmade drinks, further oysters, and steaks with every side.
“Man, I’m totally starving!” remarked Craig. This evening is my day to cheat. I’ve been having a lot of success in the gym.
The sound of their sound reverberated off the walls. An offer of his bone marrow was extended to me by Jason as he leaned across the table.
“Lena, make a move!” It’s hard to imagine what you’re losing out on. What a remarkable feat!
A nice grin was given to him, and I shook my head, pretending that I hadn’t observed how fast he lost interest in what I was saying.
On and on the night went on. When it was necessary, I chuckled, and when they were talking about fantasy football, I nodded my head. My phone was beneath the table, and I checked it twice: first to make sure it hadn’t died, and the other time because I was missing my cat and the peace and quiet of my apartment.
When I went out with someone else, I felt like I was just a prop. akin to a footnote in a narrative that I had not requested to be a part of.
Next, Ethan leaned in close, his voice quiet but unmistakable.
“Babe, you are able to handle this, right? You do recall that thirty percent?
My whole body became very rigid. I had the impression that I had misunderstood.
“What is it?” It was a whisper.
“Come on,” he said with a grin, cocking his head in the direction of the gathering. Please don’t make it strange. I informed the individuals who you were treating.
“You actually told them what?” I let out a gasp.
The heat raced up to my cheeks, and I felt a decrease in my stomach. I took a quick look around the table. “I’m licking the salt off of my hand,” Craig said. It was Jason’s last sip of his beverage. And each and every one of them was keeping a watchful eye on me to the extent that I could tell they were anticipating my response.
This seemed to be a trap. It seemed like I was being subjected to a terrible exam that I had not signed up for. I felt as if I was being penalized for raising my income.
I switched my attention back to Ethan, hoping to see a glimpse of sorrow on his face. Any and all. But no, he only winked, as arrogant as he always was.
A charming grin, the type that ladies wear while they are silently fuming, was something I forcibly wore.
My response was, “Sure, honey.” I’ll take care of it once I’ve finished using the restroom, so let me just go to the toilet first.
I quietly strolled out the front door after grabbing my bag, slipping my arm through the strap, and then opening the door.
I did not turn around, ever.
A buzzing sound came from my phone before I had even arrived to my vehicle. In addition, it continued.
“Hey, how are you doing? “Are you still in the restroom?”
The situation is not humorous, Lena. Make a move!”
“Are you serious at this very moment?! “The car has vanished!”
I did not immediately react to your message. I was simply sitting in the silence of my parked vehicle, with my hands firmly grasping the steering wheel, and I could feel the vibrations of my pulse matching those of the phone.
At long last, I responded:
“I do not enjoy being forced to pay for you and your pals who are taking advantage of me at my expense. You made the decision, Ethan; you did not ask. In addition to that, you exploited my rise as a weapon. This was meant to be a time of great significance for me… And so on. I am within.”
While I was staring at the screen, I pushed the send button.
I was not anticipating receiving an apology. I was not able to get one.
After an hour had passed, the front door began to bang. The type of rage that comes not from being mistreated but from being exposed was the kind that Ethan displayed when he came in with his face flushed with wrath.
It was then that he snapped, “You really left me there?”
I responded with a cool “Yes” while sitting on the sofa with my legs crossed. My cat, Cooper, softly purred next to me, making him the only thing in the room that was soft.
The sound of a metallic clatter was made as Ethan dropped his keys on the counter.
When it was time to pay the bill, I had to phone my brother. Lena, my card request was denied. You have made me feel ashamed.
I responded in a voice that was firm but not shaky, “No, Ethan.” “The moment you turned my promotion into a punchline, you embarrassed yourself,” the speaker said.
Although he opened his lips to answer, he was unable to produce any words.
That’s good.
Without uttering a single word, he snatched his coat and walked away.
In the two days that followed, I had the greatest tranquility I’d experienced in a period of months. There were no calls. There are no texts.
I was relieved that we hadn’t yet moved in together at that point. It was my intention to wait until after the wedding before he made his proposal. When I was younger, it provided a sense of autonomy. Now, it seemed like a flash of insight.
Over the course of the subsequent days, I cleaned. Not only scrubbing the surface, but cleaning very deeply and thoroughly. Cleansing the countertops. Shifting the shelves around. In order to release the stagnant air, I threw open all of the windows, even the one that was stubbornly located in the bedroom.
Not only was it about keeping things tidy. Taking back control of space was the focus.
After that, I brought a notepad and a pen to the table, and I sat down to write a list.
“Things that Ethan has done that I have forgiven him for: – Comments were made that were passive-aggressive about my employment.
Teased me for “trying to outshine him,” which was a joke.
– I laughed out loud when his pals cut me off in the middle of my speech.
– money that I gave away without being asked for it – Every occasion of joy became a constant reminder of his lack of confidence.
It became simpler for the pen to move as I continued to write. There was more to it than simply a single meal. There were other things going on that night as well. It was precisely the right amount of space for all of the truth to seep through its imperfections.
He made a phone call on the third day.
“Lena, take a look,” he said with a monotone. “I became too emotional. However, you did not have to abandon me in such a way.
I responded with a strong “I did.” For the simple reason that it wasn’t simply a meal, Ethan. The fifty years that were to come were a view into the future, and I did not like what I saw. You are the sort of guy who would say, “I forgot my wallet.” I have no desire for it. I am looking for a companion.
Indeed, he did not interrupt. Nevertheless, I was able to sense the strain in his quiet.
My decision to cancel the wedding site, the hotel, and the caterer has already been made. The loss of a deposit would be preferable than the loss of my self-respect.
“Are you serious?” he said, expressing his skepticism.
I responded with a “yes.” “I am really serious. I will pack all of your belongings, including the ring, and transport them back to you.
After that, he hung up. Not in any other way.
A week later, I went out and purchased a tiny gold ring for myself. No, not to take his place, but to serve as a reminder.
To serve as a reminder that I will never again shrink in order to make another person feel more at ease.
I celebrated my raise on that particular Friday by myself, sitting on my balcony with a glass of prosecco and a piece of chocolate cake. The sun was setting behind the skyline, and the wind was gently blowing on my shoulders, like if it were giving me a silent nod of approval.
Also, for the first time in years, I did not have the sensation that I needed to shrink myself in order to be able to fit next to another person. I’ve allowed myself to take up room.
And the sensation was just the way it ought to have always been.
