Mia swore Eric was “the perfect gentleman,” and on paper he delivered: roses at the curb, a silver monogrammed keychain, attentive conversation over candle-lit pasta. When the check arrived he waved me off—“a man always pays on the first date.” I left floating. The next morning my phone buzzed: a PDF labeled Date Night Invoice. Itemized charges included “1 hug in exchange for bouquet,” “1 coffee date owed for keychain,” and “second date, no excuses” as payment for dinner. At the bottom: “Failure to remit may result in collections (Chris will hear about it).” I screenshot the absurdity; Chris counter-invoiced Eric for “introducing you to a gorgeous woman” and “public humiliation pending.” Eric’s angry texts followed; I blocked him and kept the keychain as the funniest souvenir of dating gone rogue. New rule: if he insists on paying, make sure the price isn’t you.
My Date Insisted on Picking Up the Tab—Then He Sent Me an Invoice for “Services Rendered”
