An Immodest Proposal – What women’s weight and illegal immigration have to do with each other

There is a lot of verbal banter, and the occasional “peaceful protest”, going on these days in the arena of immigration – whether legal or illegal. Many claim the US has a broken immigration system and it needs overhauled.

I have always been cautioned and counseled to not discuss religion, politics or a woman’s weight nor age in public. So, what follows does not touch on any of these taboo topics. Let’s call this a philosophical discussion on the human condition and common sense, with an immodest proposal of solutions of sort.

So, you ask, how does a woman’s weight or age figure into a philosophical discussion of the human condition and common sense? It doesn’t, I was just trying to grab your attention and apparently it did because you are still reading this article. Kudos to you for having such a steadfast attention span for what may surely be seen as a controversial discourse.

Many of my acquaintances fancy themselves in the moral orbit well above the common man’s condition. What, with the wealth, status and accoutrements that come with such prestige, I am certain they have a solution to this whole immigration fuss, that can certainly be born by the masses in a lesser orbit of humanity than they.

I mean, if one can invent the internet, another create the largest manufacturer to your doorstep delivery monopoly and a third that can create an algorithm to tell you want you really want/need based on your simple use of the internet the other guy created – they can certainly whip up a simple solution to this pesky issue of immigration and keep everyone toddling along none the wiser.

Why, several astute civic leaders (can’t use politician, because politics is off limits here), were so bold as to suggest we would all starve to death if we didn’t have a generous immigration philosophy, at least at our southern border. Apparently not to many folks are eager to traverse from all four corners of the earth to go to the US via Canada, especially during the winter months.

I mean, I have nothing against the snowbirds who trip to our southern climate during the winter, it really does help our economy in the off season. But climate is another topic I can’t discuss here and is off the beaten path of the real issue of our broken immigration system.

So back to basics. How might we definitively address, I mean solve, this much-a-do about nothing immigration snag we find ourselves in? I propose we start at the top and work down. Taking care of the masses of undocumented visitors, I mean citizens, or at least potential citizens is complex and quite costly. We are talking millions of men, women, children and more men. Where do we start?

Well maybe we just address the farm workers, cleaning staff, minimum wage kind of citizens, that will take a concentrated coordination of time, money, housing and transportation, not to mention health care and education, none of which they can afford, so it must, of course, come as a free immigrant benefit.

The self-employed immigrants who have a source of income can fend for themselves. You know, the successful pharmaceutical purveyors, the corporate entrepreneurs in the import-export business, the occasional asset appropriation and self-help experts, and finally, those adept at social engineering though the hands on, physical and convincing, albeit controversial and frowned upon, and sometimes explosive, but very attention getting, behavior.

I propose, for the former, not the latter, unless of course they would be invited to participate, and graciously accept, I’m sure, that the upper echelon of society can, and should, open their multiple estate homes, land and commercial properties to house, feed and provide all the care, wants and needs of our new found citizens – until such time said citizens can stand on their own and be proud of their new found home of the free.

Just look at St. Teresa of Calcutta, she did the same thing and not a penny to her name. Think of what the ultra-wealthy could do with just the stroke of a pen on a personal check.

Being a Saint, like Mother Teresa of Calcutta, but with a shite ton of money.  I call this leading from the front. Leading by example. Being a true American patriot.  An example, I’m sure those in the lesser stratosphere of surviving day to day in America will gladly embrace and follow suit. I mean, these same folks are already running the show in DC and other critical centers of economical influence, social norms and think-tank incubators – why not personally dig in, hands on run the immigration apparatus as well?

Now I know many of my friends in high places will initially recoil at the thought of daily interactions with those less privileged than they, and I appreciate their mindset. But as we were all taught, suck it up buttercup. Such disdain for your civic and moral duty would be quite a stain on your humanity and common sense that you so regularly subscribe to in your pontifications on our already broken immigration system. You could very well be the next Saint. But that requires a deeper discussion on religion, which, of course, is not permitted in gentile circles such as yourselves.

What better opportunity do you expect to ply your expertise at creating wealth out of nothing than to raise the next generations of to the heights of wealth, stature and privilege that you so zealously enjoy and protect. As one infamous POTUS often said, “C’mon man!”

I could go on, but I don’t want to overwhelm the reader anymore with more exciting proposals on how my astute acquittances can step up to the proverbial plate and knock one out of the park for the so called least, last and the lost of the world who are dying to come to America.

An immodest proposal for sure. Will they accept?

So, to my astute readers and followers of humanity and common sense, what say you? Remember, keep it clean, and do not discuss politics, religion or women’s age or weight in your responses.

(PS…if you are butt hurt or your head is exploding,  after reading this article, try looking up the definition of satire and parody before you send your keyboard warrior outrage directed at me. Otherwise, have a great day!)

About the Author:

In the Warrior Servant Leader Podcast, Pat shares the inspiring stories and lessons learned, personally and professionally, as he features TACO TUESDAYS – Take Action Crush Obstacles. Buckel up, he doesn’t hold back.